Happy Thanksgiving everyone. I'm really trying this journaling thing. I still don't like it though. I just sent off one of my deepest darkest secrets and I'm not sure how I feel about it. I told Mark I wish to die. Now, I'm not going to do anything to hasten the process but every time I wish on a star or a candle or any damn thing that's what I wish for nowadays. Sad and scary but true. Sucks but I'm so damn tired of trying to elk out a life that I just want it to be done already. I'm so fucking ready it scares me. It's so fucking unfair that Brandon died instead of me and I'm soooooo angry. So, that my dear friends is what I'm sitting here thinking of this wonderful Thanksgiving day. Make's you just want to have me to your party doesn't it. And to think, my family wonder why I want to stay home alone. Haahhaha Ray of fucking sunshine. I am.
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